Today is my first day back at work. I’ll be working from home while doing daddy daycare. My plan is to start early and end late so that I have the time to feed, change and care for my son. I didn’t want to do an outside daycare because it is important for me that my son sees how I work. I want him to feel my love for him while still growing in my career. I want him to know that work is about living God’s calling and being his dad is part of my calling. (I’m OK if this doesn’t work and we have to drop him off at daycare. I just want to least try this even though it might be too idealistic 😅)
It’s hard to parent while being Chinese American. I ask my mom what it was like for her as a new mom. All my mom’s stories of when I was a newborn revolve around how hard it was for her as a new immigrant. My parents were trying to start their restaurant and learning the American culture. I appreciate those stories but my story as a new parent is very different. I feel very American and I want more than survival for my family. I want Jeremiah to grow up to not just achieve things but to be a person of high character. When I tell my parents of my family’s goals, I am reminded how strange that is to a Chinese mindset. Our Chinese culture doesn’t talk enough about growing as a person of generosity, kindness and love. These values don’t replace wisdom, discipline or hard work. Jeremiah is going to be the first Pat to not grow up in an immigrant household and he needs to learn new values. He’s going to be an American learning what it means that his family is also Chinese.